Those that are Wandering are not Always Lost...
Those words can be very heavy on certain people's hearts, my own being one of them... College is about two blocks away but I can feel the bearing it's having on my life already.
Not only do I have school, work, my boyfriend and friends to juggle... but I also have diabetes...
It took me a really long time to be able to type and leave that in a blog... this is my second time trying this whole blogging thing. I thought it would be a good way to leave my opinions and thoughts in a safe place.
Diabetes is what they call a manageable disease. I don't see it that way.
I look at Diabetes as something that has ruined my entire life.
Extra bills to pay
Extra time to test and go to the doctors....
Time and money that a young adult going into the "real world" doesn't have.
(You're gonna notice that I kinda write choppy. As my mind goes my fingers follow.)
This first post is probably going to be long. I've got a lot to vent about.
Back to the point of the title tho,
After I was diagnosed I feel like I've been wandering non-stop.... Not the kind that the quote is talking about either. The kind you do when you're actually lost. I thought I knew where my life was going... I thought I'd have a long and fulfilling life that every human deserves.
But nahhh, I didn't get that lucky.
I chose that as the topic of this blog because I want to prove it wrong in my life.
When you get diagnosed with Diabetes you get told 3 main things.
1. You're gonna be okay.
2. This is manageable and you can do it.
3. You're life will change...
I was diagnosed at 12 years old. (Meaning that I'm only 5 years in) I was admitted 3 days before New Year's Eve. I went into a Diabetic Acoma 3hrs after being taken to the hospital... I don't remember leaving my house...
I remember waking up to my Grandparents and my mom staring at me, my mom looked so relieved that I had finally woken up. Apparently, the doctors had told her that my brain had swollen to a point that concerned them greatly... I didn't even know that I scared my mom have to death...
When I told my closest friends that I was a Type 1 Diabetic they all kinda gave me the same reply... "but you're not fat"
Any other diabetic reading this is probably thinking the same thing...
NOT ALL DIABETICS HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR WEIGHT. DIFFERENT TYPE OF DIABETES.
Those three points that I talked about earlier well, I'm gonna tell you what I heard when they tried to teach me these things,
1. You're gonna be okay. : You're screwed.
2. This is manageable and you can do it. : This is gonna ruin your life and you have no choice but to live with it.
3. Your life will change. : I hate Needles...
Diabetes sucks. I'm not a doctor so I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
This is Diabetes Unmasked.
This blog is gonna be mainly about my struggles in my diabetes. If there's something you want to tell me, whether it's a story, or something you want me to talk about from my personal experience, comment below.
I was diagnosed at 13. I am now 60 and I hope to live out my life to the fullest. I started back when there was just one shot a day, NPH insulin and only urine tests for sugar. I admit that at times I took it very seriously and times I tried to act like I had nothing wrong with me. Fast forward to my mid twenties...I joined a national study called DCCT and was put in the control group as opposed to the intensive therapy group (which is now the norm). Then I got pregnant and was switched to the intensive therapy group for my pregnancy. Blood sugar testing and multiple daily injections. I did well and then had another pregnancy, which also went well. Eventually about 14 years ago, I went on a pump. Changed pumps, and now as of the beginning of the year, I am now back to injections. I have never had really bad control and never the very best control. I don't have complications as of yet and it has been 47 years that I have lived this life with Type 1 diabetes.
ReplyDeleteI think in some ways I am healthier than I would be if I had not been diagnosed.
I wish you the best of luck.
Not many people who have not been affected by diabetes will understand ANY of what you are going through on a daily basis.
I have always downplayed my diabetes and even my best friend of many years does not GET it. But that's okay.
Thank you so much for your insight. It helps to know that it does get a little bit better each day.
ReplyDelete